Another Significant Point

I've kinda reached another significant point in my life. My own realisation about things. About how hard it is to find people i can click with, let alone about a bf. I've changed a little over this period of time. I've harden my heart a little and i've been less modest, more assertive about things. Simply cause i don't give a damn and i've got nothing to loose. Like i said before my skin has thicken a little. Being single somehow gave me a lot more confidence about things.

I've been reminded many times how i'm not young anymore. Also i'm not that "marketable" anymore in the dating scene. I've always been self-centred and now realised that i'm not that great lah. So that made me realised that i'm need help in that area.

I'm now more sure than ever that i needed to focus on something of more substance than just finding a mate. Even though that's the biggest hobby/interest of mine right now, i know that it's not good enough. I've thought about it and i honestly don't wish to die right now. So i need to do somethings to make life more worthy and colourful than it is right now.

Alot of times i'm still craving for his companionship. Like i said, no other can match that. But i know that since there's nothing i can change i will just have to accept it and get on with my life. Now it's not a matter of handling it. I've been trying everytime, whenever the feeling arises, to face it. Forced myself and though i'm not able to grieve about it, at least i'm facing it now. That's all thanks to pat's advice.