I really wonder. I was just nuah-ing as usual, watching cable drama and enjoying it cause finally i don't have to wake up at an unearthly hour again (which is what i've been for the past week and will be for the next week, including next saturday). Then my routine kicked in, i just lazily reached for my handphone, thinking if he's called me yet and if i've got a sms from him.
FREAKY! It's been more than a month and i'm still stuck in this mode!!!
What mode? It's the "he's overseas" mode. Having endured endless periods of him going overseas for work, i've sort of became two person. One when he's around, another when he's not. I'm the latter one right now. It's both a blessing and a curse. Why?
Blessing first. I'm used to not having him around, so i'm can withstand his absence. That 'skill' came in handy during the initiate few weeks.
Curse? I realised why i'm like okay most of the times. It's because i'm still in that "he's overseas" state where i know he will be back, he still cares about me, he's just gone for a moment, he will contact me soon. I can't get out of it. I only feel sad at times when things reminded me that IT'S OVER!
Conclusion: I'm not going through a normal breakup routine and it's taking longer than ever to get over it because it's been on hold all these while.
Solution: Need to remind myself more often, even if i have to suffer, so that i can get it out of my system.
I really need serious help this time. And at the moment, no one can help me at all. Whatever ways or methods are not working with me right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment